Dear Qi: TMI on the PMS

Dear Qi,

I have a crush on a woman at my firm. I see her at company functions and I just love the way she carries herself. Last week I bumped into her as I was leaving the office building, so I introduced myself. We chatted a while and then she offered to have dinner with me the next time she’s in my neighborhood. Later, over email, we agreed on a day to meet up. Everything was lined up for a great first date, but by afternoon of that day I still hadn’t heard from her about what time she can meet for dinner. I emailed her (we’re both Blackberry addicts) and got this reply, “I’m having girl tummy issues, if that makes any sense. Not pregnant, quite the opposite of pregnant, but in pain. I can’t make dinner, so sorry about this. Let’s talk soon when I can think straight.” What the heck is going on? Is she blowing me off with a ridiculous excuse? Is this too much info to divulge before we even share a dessert? If we end up dating is she going to call me in the middle of the workday to cry over a broken fingernail?

Signed,

Some Discretion Please!

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Dear Discretion,

A woman’s ability to withstand pain is unfathomable to a man. It’s built up through years of monthly suffering, culminating in a few extremely traumatic events (read: childbirth). The point of telling you this isn’t to make you cringe, it’s to say that, as bizarre as her excuse may seem, it’s plausibly true. I’ve seen grown women shed tears during their PMS cramps. If your lady’s got it bad, it’s the kind of thing that she can miss executive board meetings for. The very fact that she shared such private information with you makes me think that she didn’t make this up. If she wanted to blow you off, what’s wrong with a simple, “I’m coming down with the flu” or “My dog is throwing up”? So that brings you to, what’s up with the TMI? Different strokes for different folks. Some girls are Discrete Debbies and won’t even acknowledge that they ever do the #2 to their boyfriends. Others will burp and make jokes about passing gas (or even pass gas!) after a few dates. It all depends on what you both are comfortable with. Give it a chance. Reschedule your date and see if she really is Miss TMI or if that was just a blunder made under duress. If the latter, stock up on Tylenol for future dates!

Cheers,

Qi